Entry 2: Love? What is Love?

So, let's get on the topic of falling in love or the word love itself.

What is love?

According to some search engine, love is that feeling you get when you meet the right person. (which I kind of believe in.)

Recently, someone told me that he love me. I assume that he found his right person in me but I haven't found mine in him, yet.

So, what I did was decline his feelings. I'm still a teenager and I'm the type who takes her time. I wait for the right time to look for Mr. Right mainly because of my strict parents. I don't blame them though for not giving me the freedom to have a boyfriend or to look for a boyfriend. They just don't want me to repeat history. In actual fact, this helped me to be more mature in thinking about my future.

Wait, this is not about my parent's love life so let's move on. We'll talk about it some other time.

So yes, I decline his feelings because of the fact that my focus is not on love yet. He didn't talk to me for quite around a week. Well, that's normal isn't it? You're heartbroken and such. Some say that if you love the person, you will wait for them.

What's amusing is, after a week or two, he seemed to have forgotten his 'love' for me. He started talking to another girl. I let him be.  A month or two later, they are already a couple. I only found out when I accidentally hit his profile in Facebook. One more funny thing is that I also found out that he unfriend me. Well, there goes the 'love'.

I was grateful that I didn't let rash decisions take over me because his 'love' is not real.

So, what is love, really?

What I realized is that search engines and people provide different answers. Perhaps, my meaning of  love is not his meaning of love. Perhaps for him, love is something similar to liking someone, not loving someone that deep itself.

Perhaps for him, he has to say that he loves someone first before he can really be sure of his feelings.

I'm saying good-luck to their relationship though. I hope they last long.

Also, 'I love you' is being used like it's just a normal sentence nowadays. Especially when people confess. Yes, it is not bad to use it casually but do take note that your 'I love you' must contain sincere feelings even if it's just for a friend or a family member.

Love itself is a strong word. It can build up or break relationships.


I may be a teenager but I guess I have the maturity to understand something about love 'ey?

Entry 1: First entry, 'As a student.'

Teens. It means Secondary school/High school life too right? For this entry, it's just all about school related stuffs.

Image obtained from google ;)

I'm fourteen, Secondary 3. It is a year whereby a lot of adjustments must be made in order to survive the terror of school work mainly because of the fact that there are more subjects. I have to learn how to manage my time well in order to cope.

It is hard to be able to do so especially when it is only one to two months of the school year and when teachers expect that you already know how their subjects work. They sometimes put a lot of stress on our backs to push us harder because 'O' levels is the next year.

In my opinion, it sometimes get annoying and depressing. Thankfully, I am slowly being able to adjust, I may not have achieved desired 'A1s' for subjects like Biology, Physics(I don't like them much by the way) and English, I still got 'A' for Chemistry and Social Studies. I got B3 for my Literature and one of the highest in that class which surprised me. I don't know my grades for my Math subjects(A-math and E-math)yet but I'm hoping for at least 'A2'. The 'pushing students' method actually works.

During my Secondary 1 and 2 years, it was more relaxed so I didn't expect that Secondary 3 offers more challenge. I came back to school thinking that the subjects I used to ace will offer the same standard. I figured out that I was wrong when I received the first batch of A-math worksheets. I forgot most of what was taught the past year so I totally had no clue what to do. I had to re-read my past year's book and at the same time learn a new chapter. Everything was rushed and I ended up not understanding everything clearly. In the end, I almost fail the chapter test.

However, there are still subjects that unexpectedly came easy.

I thought that Social Studies will be my weakest since it's new to me. Surprisingly, I was able to do what was told and quickly understand the topics the teacher is talking about. My Social Studies teacher is what I consider a good teacher. I actually got full marks for my test.

Chemistry is a subject that I thought was boring. Even the teacher is boring. When it's time for Chemistry, I will always end up sleepy. However, when it comes to tests, I'd get 'A1' which I don't expect. What I didn't expect most is be able to have the highest score for one of the Chemistry tests. I only needed a half mark so that I can have full marks. It was quite disappointing but nah, who cares?

Literature is a subject that I'm not familiar with two years ago. During secondary 1, I failed my first common test, five out of twenty-five. Still I managed to pass it at the end of the year. When I reached Secondary 2, I hated the subject even though I manage to pass its common tests and exams. October to November of last year, 2012, we were given choices of which subjects to pick. My original choice for my humanities is History but then my English teacher changed my mind. She tried to 'brainwash' our class into taking Literature since it usually has few students, meaning that the students can concentrate more. My English teacher also said that it's easy to obtain marks for Literature. I was one of the people that got affected by her brainwashing and changed my humanities subject to Literature. I find that the book for Literature is easy because of the availability of information sources. Having said all that, I don't think I regret taking Literature as my humanities subject.

Moving away from school subjects, CCA or co-curricular activity is also contributing to my high school(Secondary school) life. When I was in Secondary 1, I was placed in a CCA I didn't ever plan on joining, Saint John's Brigade. I wanted to join the school's Media Club that specializes on photography, video and animation. I became interested in the club because of the fact that I've never done anything like it before. I tried to reason out with the CCA head of department to move me to another CCA but he just won't budge. So, what I did after is not to attend any Saint John's Brigade CCA meetings. After half a year,I received my report card that states that I'm already in Media club. That was a happy moment even though the report card states that I didn't report at the club at all during the duration of half of that year. Secondary 2 came quickly and I get to be exposed on duties whereby I take photos on certain events. It can sometimes be boring but it is a learning experience to be treasured. I also get to take photos on special events like Splendours 2012 whereby the CCAs from performing arts group perform pieces of their music or plays. On September to October 2012, we went for an animation workshop. At the end of the workshop, we will send our work to a competition. This year, I received news that my group won a national award for the competition SDMA. Honestly, I wasn't even able to sleep properly because of over-flowing happiness. Being an 'international student', I was able to feel a sense of achievement for the first time. I didn't expect that I'd be receiving an award from another country.

There is this Zoo Trail competition that I also joined. This competition wants us to develop an application that can be used in the zoo and it has to be interesting as well. I'm glad to say we won the competition  even though I doubted winning at first.

Now at Secondary 3, I can say that even though it's stressful, friends around me support me and encourage me to carry on. Now, I'm not too afraid to venture out of my limits.